I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
