Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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