I wish my penis had an off switch
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
