i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
