those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
it glows. i had to have it.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
