i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Less talking, more tequila
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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