last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
