I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
you made out with another girl for some wings
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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