I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
