Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
