In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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