Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
