weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
