oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
