i just google imaged poop.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
