I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
