you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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