She's JV to your varsity
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
