I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He felt like a one man threesome
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
