he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
