he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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