dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
