You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
