...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
