I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Your cock deserves a montage
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
