I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
