After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
