She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
