P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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