What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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