wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
