I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
