you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
