people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She said her name was "party"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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