I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
