gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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