dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
