Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
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