one two three fourrrrnication!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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