the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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