What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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