I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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