I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
handjob tips. give me some.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Randomize
