is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
