You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Randomize
