i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
