i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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