What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize