He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
