New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
