Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
