I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
