Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
