Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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