At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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