The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
