YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
