dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We just shotgunned beers for America
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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