I wanna bring you to show and tell
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
