So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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